Prime Minister Scott Morrison has today reiterated his belief that coal won’t hurt anyone, as half the country sits under water and Europe is plunged into war over oil fields.
“How exactly is a rock going to hurt you?” laughed Scott. “What, is it going to be burnt and then turn into a fine particulate that blankets the earth in a ring of heat-trapping clouds that slowly increase the volatility of weather patterns while also slowly heating and acidifying the ocean making the planet wildly inhospitable? Give me a break.
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“As if I’d believe some invisible force I can’t see could cause natural disasters!”
“Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m late for Church.”