Frydenberg warns there is no more Federal Government money unless you are a fossil fuel company



Amidst the peak of the omicron wave, Treasurer Josh Frydenberg has warned the nation that there is no more federal money to go around, as a recent bank statement had revealed the yearly budget had been completely depleted on carparks, submarines, tanks and covid tracking apps which reported 0 cases.

Frydenberg stated that the government no longer had the money to fund individual states’ covid initiatives as they were too busy propping up fossil fuel companies, funding Tim Wilson’s travel expenses and ensuring that private schools in Queensland could ban LGBTQ children. When faced by questions of relevance of these policy “side quests”, Frydenberg stated that his government was the peak “public body of private interest.”

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However, before he got in his $5000/day private commonwealth car, Frydenberg said he was prepared to reconsider this tough stance when it came to swaying marginal electorates at the upcoming federal election.

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